Spawning is changing my favourite publications.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/47470

I think the people at the Onion are getting old, bitter and are spawning. It's good to see that their generation is screwing their anger into a tight little ball and unleashing it upon us, the readers, but also hoping that their rebellious teen isn't interested in their parent's work to care.

I also notice that the people posing in the pictures are getting bald-er.

Rewiring Jesus for the new age

Those wacky Gnostics want to ret-con Jesus some 1700 years ago. For those who haven't been following, the Gospel of Judas has been unleashed by the National Geographic Society. Here's the crux of the thing.

Jesus: "Judas, I want you to betray me to the Romans."
Judas: "Done."
Jesus: "Your reward will be great."
Judas: "Done."
Jesus: "Now, before you say no, I want you to know that I.."
Judas: "I'll do it."
Jesus: "Judas, you're not listening to me, Judas."
Judas: "Where's my betraying hat? I knew I put it down somewhere."
Jesus: "Also, I'm having a...get together. It's just me and the disciples. I know we're close but, maybe if we weren't seen together...well, you know."
Judas: "Oh. I see."
Jesus: "But don't...don't worry. There'll be a Second-Last Supper. Just you and me."
Judas: "..."

Is this new conspiracy going to change anything? Most likely not. Probably just give the Gnostics the impetus to sue Dan Brown.

I remain unsaved and hellbound. By reading this, you'll all be there to cushion my fall.

You WANT this man in charge of your security?

http://today.reuters.com/news/newsArticle.aspx?type=topNews&storyID=2006-04-05T032211Z_01_N04209957_RTRUKOC_0_US-CRIME-DOYLE.xml&archived=False

"What stands out to me the most in this particular case was the fact that Brian, on his first conversation with our undercover detective, who he believed to be a 14-year-old girl, clearly identified himself as a deputy press secretary for Homeland Security."

It seems to me that if you want to impress a 14 year old girl, all you say is 'I own my own car and I play in a band.' Just goes to prove the paedophiles of today are out of touch with today's kids.

Jewel Kilcher - Singer, Songwriter, Agent of the Mythos?

"Kiss the Flame" by Jewel Kilcher came up on my playlist. It all seems pretty normal until she starts shilling for the Elder Gods with her superliminal propaganda.

"Cause I'm tired of all these pilgrims, these puritans, these thieves. Of all these unbelievers who whittle love down at the knees. Let these swift roads destroy themselves, Let the world fall into it's sleep, For we shall be spared, We shall be left standing, To face what's left of concrete and honey."

After sorting through the neo-pacifist babble, here's a translation: Only the true faithful will survive when Great Cthulhu rises from Ryleh. Worship him and praise his name.

"Kiss the flame, Let's run with the hunted, the untamed. Kiss the flame. Embrace the faceless, the unnamed. Kiss the flame."

Translation: Also, worship Hastur.

Not enough proof? Here's a line from her song "Down so long"

"I've been down so long that the end must be drawing near."

When Jewel makes a break for the ocean, I trust you'll be converting with me?